Sunday, May 13, 2012

I love you Mommy!


I was in deep sleep. Was missing someone. I think it was my mom. It had been days when I met her. From the time I have started working, I have stayed away from my family, and I really miss the support that only your parents, and especially your mom can give you.  Who is a mom and why a mom is so special, is always an unanswered question. I tried to understand it a little and dedicate this post to the entire mom’s in the world. Also this post is dedicated to Daddy’s who do take a mom’s place, when needed.

Before writing this article I asked my mom how does it feels being a mom. She just smiled, probably thinking her daughter have gone mad.  Gave a kiss on my cheek (that I didn't like that much) and said “I feel really happy being a mom”, and went back inside the kitchen ( I thought in my head 'wow what an answer she has given to me' huh. Can't help it), started calling my name “Tukki common dear it’s late, shut down the laptop and sleep. Even I am tired from morning. She added shouting from inside “Do you want bournvita or you want horlicks. I was busy chatting on FB and looking at the updates. She asked again, and I trying to ignore her said in a very low voice “Anything is fine mummy. Why do you ask so many questions? She said because its very difficult to understand you guys. If I will give you bournvita, you will surely want Horlicks and vice versa. I gazed at her, and murmuring in herself she went inside the kitchen. Called Again “In which glass do you want?” I got irritated this time and said Mommy you can give me in any glass you want. Why are you asking me these small questions? Looking at me getting irritated she finally after all the specifications and ingredients came to my computer table and gave a glass of Horlicks.

This time I looked at her again, it didn't bother to her how she looked, she was tired i could see it in her eyes. I wanted to say Thank you mom for all you do for me. Thank you! But couldn't. Something stopped me, I think it was just the feeling that she already knew she is special to me. I know, I know I am wrong. That’s why I wrote this post to let her know that she does really means a lot to me. In fact this is for all the mom’s saying you are special.

Mommy when you used to wake me up from my sleep in the morning and try to kiss my cheek thinking me as your small kid, I really didn’t like it. I hated that kind of morning alarm. But today mom when I have no one to wake me up, when its me myself who looks at the alarm clock every ten minutes so I could reach office on time and still could not make it, I really miss you mom when i have no one to wake me up..

When you used to run behind me with a glass of milk, early morning and breakfast, and force me to drink it, I used to think why are you so damn concerned about me always. What will even happen if I don’t drink milk a day or if I don’t have breakfast? But now mom when it gets months I have no one to offer tea in the morning, I have no one to ask if I had breakfast, or I have no one in the morning to run behind me with a glass full of milk and asking to eat on time. I really miss you mom when i am the only one to take care of myself.

When I want to eat something yummy, or I feel like having your cooked food, I have no other option but to go out in a restaurant and try to fill my stomach. No one bothers if I say I feel like eating a simple food but your hand cooked. Because that tastes better than the Chinese or the Thai food. I really miss you Mom when i feel like eating food with your hands..

When I want to sit alone, not talking to anyone, or want to cry for some stupid reason, I try to find you next to me. I try to feel your hand on my forehead, and I want your lap to lie down my head without any shame. I miss you, because I know you are one who won’t ask for the explanations,or the reasons, or the people, who made me cry. But you will try to make me feel good in every possible way with your love, and your care. I really miss you mom at that moment.

I remember at times when I used to shout on you, and get irritated because of small things, you used to start crying along with me. I miss you, when I have no one to show my anger to, because if I show, people would never turn again to me. When it was you, I was free to express myself without the fear of losing you. I miss you mom because I don’t find that security in any other relationship in the world.

Mommy when you have hit me at times because I was wrong, I didn’t talked to you for days.But you know it was much better than people hurting me by breaking my trust, or when people hitting me in the name of relationships. You never broke me, but you always did things to make me a better person. I miss you mom when you are not there to hit me on my mistakes and ask me to go on the right path.

I remember how you always cooked my favorite food on special occasions just because I wanted to eat. You didn’t bother about brother or dad. I miss you mom when I have no one to compromise for me, their choice of food.

I wonder at times, Mom when was it that you didn't receive my call? I think It was never. You have always made yourself available to me in need, or when I call you in midnight or early morning. I am 24 and not even a day I felt that you ignored me, or didn’t talk to me, or were unavailable for me. But I really miss you mom, when I call my friends, and they are busy somewhere, or when I need them the most, they are busy settling their life. I miss you mom just for the reason that no one can take your place in my life ever.

I remember when once I cried on the phone, and I didn’t talked to you for a day for some reason, you came to see me because you were worried if I am okay. You were worried if something went wrong in my life.

I know at times I ignore you, i don't receive your call, i don't talk to you properly, because i am busy in my life, but mom i really miss you in those days as well. To share my happiness, and, for a sound sleep, i need you with me. 

I miss you every moment mom and I thank god for letting me know the importance of a mom. No one in this world, I believe, can take your place in my life. Although I don’t show you my emotions because I am scared what if you are not there with me what will I do. But today I want to say it to you that you are really special person in my life. You are the one who trusted me, believed in me, made me believe in myself, came running to me whenever my heart asked for, boosted me in tough times, fought with dad for me, proved me right in front of brother, supported me in my decisions, and helped me in being a good hearted person that I am! You taught me to be good to people, to be kind to people and most importantly to trust people and not to break that trust. You are an inspiration to me to live my life in a better way. When I am depressed I am sure about the person to whom I can go to. Mom you are the person who is perfect in my eyes no matter how perfect or imperfect the world is.


Happy Mother's day Mom! you truly deserve it!! 
  




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Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Me from Name, Heart from you! The Vow!



We drove to our favorite place to spend some Leisure time with each other. It was our first anniversary. How quickly time flew, i still can't believe. The day i met you , i knew you were the one i would like to spend my life with. The first glance of yours just flash in front of my eyes. Today when we are together i feel like a dream come true. If feel like this life is not enough to be with you. I think i need few more life's to shower my love that i have in my heart for you. Looking at you when you were ordering the food for us in the restaurant, I thought, i am just me by the name and rest all is by you. My heart is linked to yours, it beats at the beat of yours.My eyes want to see what your eyes sees, my soul wants to feel how you feel in the moments, in sad moments or in happy moments. I want to understand every action of yours, just like without you being telling me. I thought about the promises that i want to make you tonight. The Vows! that i want to fulfill whole of my life being with you. 


Today my love i Vow you my rest of the life, not this one but all of mine.
I Vow you the togetherness, forever.
I Vow to keep your happiness above mine.
I Vow to respect you and your name always.  
I Vow to be with you always, not just in good moments or not so fair situations, but always! 
I Vow, the love between us to keep growing with time, and be strong. 
The day we wore the rings in our heart finger, i promised to love for who you are and what you are. I Vow to fulfill that promise. 
I vow to make you feel better in tough situations of life. 
I Vow to love your family as i do mine.
I Vow to have no difference between you and me! 
I Vow to trust you always. 
I Vow to not to be mad at you and clear things if they don't seem correct. 
When we took seven Vows in our marriage, I was holding your hands. I Vow again to keep holding your hands forever. 
I Vow to be loyal, and be True to you.
I Vow that we will be friends before we are anything else in our relationship. 
I Vow to love our kids and help them in developing themselves in building a bright future, and understand the term humanity and love like you do!
I Vow to love you even when we are old, and we can't walk.
I Vow to love you when your skin is not that soft, when your teeth are not that white, when your body is weak and when you can't pick me up in your arms.I Vow to still love you  from all of my heart.         


And last but not the least, I Vow to be yours always and my heart to beat for you! 


I looked at you, you were still ordering food for us. You are so very specific about everything, but i promise to hold patience when you take your time in doing things. We then got busy talking with each other about the days we've spent together! The long drives, the craziness at young age, how we wanted to be with each other always. We went back into the memories and as well to build few new ones! Because whatever happens, memories stays forever, and, so does my Vow to you!





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