Yes Mr. Attention seeker We're listening...

He says " oh ya i know i am the best. He needs us to follow where ever he goes, he always wants people to listen to him. And when no body did, he sit in one corner so that people should ask for him. He always, always and one more time...always..relates things to himself. In other words, if i say you know..i don't like the chocolate ice cream. That's it, he will start sharing his OWN experience and the blah blah blah..saying that even he don't like chocolate ice cream..and he likes mango and the strawberry..and he always have ice creams on the weekends..and how once he was crazy to have a chocolate and he went to the ice cream at 0200 hours. Huh..I know this has happened to you as well, many times. You know why we all have experienced it ? Because there are very few species on this earth who are actually listening to others. Others are the 'Attention Seekers'. This is the first quality of an attention seeker. That they always and always talks about themselves. I have a friend of mine. She will always talk about her and the worst part is she only listens to what she wants to , rest things will be unheard. And when later i say..." I told you right the other day?" and she goes all blank. Saying..Na...you did not. Usually our conversations are like this :

She : Hey Amy, whats up. What are you thinking about?

Me: Hi..nothing as such. All well. Just thinking about the shifting thing.

She : Oh you are shifting?

Me: yes..i told you right. That i am going to shift this march 1st.

She : Hmm...ok..i don't remember. Number 1 thing she don't remember.

Me : Why are you rolling your eyes all over the cafe?

She : No..i am listening to you.. Number 2 when she is distracted because nothing is going on as per her interest and she is looking around the people. And as well she is waving hands to people known to her, and giving some gestures.

Me : okay..so what are you doing here..?

She : Nothing..just came with a friend..

Me: oh okay..so what else?

She : oh, you are super busy these days. just don't have time for us. How much do you work, atleast take some time for friends. Look at us...and she starts to talk about herself. So finally she herself starts talking about herself.

By that time her friend comes..and she just leave saying a normal or may be a less than normal "bye".. The problem with the ATTENTION seekers is that they can't be in the group for a long time. Because then they don't get the whole lot of attention. When you are in a group, you know people won't be that bothered to look at you, or what are you up for. So they tend to walk away from the group, and talk minimal to not at all. And they also know..if they are gonna talk less people are gonna ask.."Hey,what happened to you? Are you alright". And that's it they will start.." oh ya..i am okay. just that last night i couldn't take enough sleep because of lot of work, and blah blah blah!!!!!

So the few characteristics of an Attention seeker can be:

Number 1 : Talk about themselves.

Number 2: Relate to each and every thing you say to their experience, and before you even finish your saying they will start saying..hm..i don't like that as well..but i love that...and also the ................

Number 3: Will always do things that grabs people attention, like Working a lot..and then letting the world know by their mouth..or like...following a religion and then praising about it.

Number 4: Talk less when in group of people, and more when with two or three people. Because in small group of people, they can create a great impression of themselves but in group, they know..few will surely be not interesting in listening to them.

Number 5: Will be always be active, and will love when people tell them that they should take rest..they should take care of themselves..and then the reply that they give will be.." yes, but i love the way i am living my life" hm..really?!!?

Number 6: Attention Seekers will love to be a discussion topic of the group. or they will enjoy that people are teasing them and trying to talk about them. They feel it as a accomplishment and will tell people that..these guys will always tease me and make fun of me.. Well Mr./ Miss Attention seeker that is what you want.

Number 7: They love when people say " oh ..without you we don't enjoy the breaks". It makes them feel valuable.

Number 8: They have this feeling that people always talk about them, and they are the hot discussions in the group. and they are proud about it.

And last but not the least for sure

Number 9: They will always try to do things differently than others, even if not needed.

okay, so Mr. Attention seeker we are listening !!

P.S : Also they will show that they are the only one knowing things going around in the world, and they are the only believer of everything say like God and humanity .

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Will you be mine? Forever?

I didn't realize that i was with him last night until i got up from my sleep and splashed water on my face the next morning. Trying to find the towel to dry my face i looked at him. He was in deep sleep. I thought not to disturb him and go back home. But my heart didn't allow me to do that . I could just admire his innocent face, just like a kid. I sat next to him, waiting for him to get up. He turned around and took my hand with an unconscious mind. Oh i thought i disturbed him in his sleep. But fortunately he was not awake. Ah i thanked god. Silently moving out of the room i turned towards the kitchen. I never thought a guy can really have a well maintained cooking area in the house. He did told me that he cook everyday without the question mark. I was astonished when he said that because being a girl i have feel lazy many times to cook for myself. The reason he cooks is, he thinks if he can learn now he will be able to help his ' Wife' when she will be super busy or not well. I was impressed by this thought of his. I have usually seen my brother cooking as well with my mom. hm. refrigerator was dumped with fruits, few bottles of beer, and some carton of milk. Within a second, while i was looking into the stuffs in the fridge, he was standing next to me, i turned and he gave a look. Not bad, but the love kind of look, the eye to eye talk happened for a second,that usually happens between two people who are in love. They do talk eye to eye, well how? Haha it just happens without you being aware of it. He hugged me and gave a kiss on my forehead. 


Giving a sign as to go out of the kitchen kind of, he dragged me out and asked me to sit back and relax. Yes, he was preparing the early morning breakfast. What else could i ask for. 


I went out of the kitchen as he didn't allowed a blink to stand there. Well, there was a small balcony kind of in his house, where he had a small gardening area. He managed it well. The sunlight was falling on the small plants he had, all were really beautiful and full of life. There was a small Container fitted with a long neck, usually with a rose at its end, used for sprinkling plants. I thought of reducing his work load a bit by watering the plants. I took the container in my hand, filled it with water from the tap, and started the mission. I felt sooo good. A voice came from inside, You don't mind cheese right? I said' hm.. oh no not at all, go ahead'. I assumed something yummy is gonna come in front of me. I looked in front of the house.There stayed a family.. I guess the mom was asking her kids to get ready soon as it was time and they were already late for the school. As usual there was a small kit kat going on between the husband and the wife that the husband don't take care of the kids like she does. Ah..old story i said to myself and diverted my mind to Aryan. Oh ya Aryan. When i say the name my body freezes, and becomes cold and still. 


Finally after a long wait i decided to peep into the kitchen, as it was quiet from almost passed ten minutes. I was about to turn and he was standing there. Oh my god why do you always come like a ghost i said to Aryan. Taking his hand holding his ears said, I am sorry. Come lets have breakfast. Its ready?!! Tan Tana...making some sort of sound he said, yes princess it is. I gave a smile, and he said Ah..you can drive me crazy. This time i laughed out loud and sat on the Dinning table. okay soo what special have you made today,  i peeped into the vessels. Wow!  My favorite 'Gobi paratha with hell lot of cheese ' I exclaimed with ecstasy.hmm alright let me taste it. Stop! he said the word with full meaning. What , whats wrong? I forgot something. What is it Aryan.? I asked patiently . Just wait and don't try moving your ass he said. Okay, okay..i won't.  


Looking at the breakfast he cooked for me, i was extremely hungry and wanted to grab. But as he said Don't move, i was waiting for him to come. I saw him running inside his room and heard the voice of opening the wardrobe. Making some kind of sound..acting to sing something..hmm naaa laa na na na na naa...I was looking around the house. Suddenly I heard the voice, It was Aryan. He was down on his knees with a ring saying ' Will you be mine forever'. I was standing still. He asked again ' okay, let me ask it clearly. Will you marry me' ? I looked at his eyes, so soo expressive; i could feel the love pouring out of his heart. I realized i am among the lucky girls who actually gets the love of their life. I couldn't believe he is the same Aryan who has dumped me for other girls and when the girls left him, he came back to me. I know i was stupid to talk to him again but what to do. I loved him still. Coming out of my thoughts I said ' Whispering in his ears; I said...


I said 'hmm..well..No, i can't'. 

If he would have not dumped me days back i would have surely married him. But i don't trust him anymore and i am sure i have taken a wise decision..Atleast i won't go through the same pain again because that is true..'Once a cheater always a cheater'. If i would have given him one more chance to hurt me, then i would be at fault. Without saying a word i left the place! I was happy for what i did. I was happy that i was strong enough to take that decision. I was happy i realized my worth. 

Existence does not MaTter ?

I saw her. I found her hard working and focused. I was a new hire then. She was one among the senior in the team and we just had one more with such great experience in the work that we do. I thought people respected her. I thought she holds great knowledge about the work. I was happy to work with her. A month later she went on leave for her marriage. Its long time that she gave to the company (complete 7 years). I assumed her absence will be felt by all of us. Especially by her friends and colleagues who joined with her. Nothing happened as i thought. They used to come and back bite about her to me. Since she was the first senior with whom i worked i had that respect for her. But when people blabbered about her, and said something that i never expected they will, I was in state of shock. Her existence does not mattered to any one of us. We all were capable enough to perform our own work, we had other seniors to assist us with our work and help solve our issues. In a month when she returned of her marriage, no body bothered to be that close to her to talk to her personally. We all were prepared for her to leave one day. People started maintaining distance from her, and mind their own business. People started looking at her faults all of a sudden saying 'She comes late always, and leaves early. She don't know how to manage a team. She is really not at all good in communicating and BLAH Blah...bLAH....' I wondered then how come you guys didn't see all these faults in the past 6 years of her career? I understood that's how the world is..Out of sight, out of mind. In other words her existence does not matter to any one of us.

Observing the situation i understood that people didn't wanted to get associated with her or be called as her friends as she was losing her identity. She was losing the respect that she earned all these years because of not focusing on the work, concentrating on work, not being regular to office, because of her a kind of negative attitude, manipulating things and few other things. Since her career was on stake, her so called friends started maintaining distance and slowly stopped talking to her. They were worried what if someone sees them talking to her and if managers or the Leads start thinking the same about them. I also realized they all were fighting for one goal that was to get promoted. They started developing a kind of competitive strategy towards her. When none talked to her, she got depressed. Initially she tried talking to her friends and sorting out the matter but it didn't work since they were fighting with her. The only way to make her feel bad was to leave her alll alone in such big office. She tried, fought, and then fought again. But failed every time. Nothing was working. People already looked for other alternatives. She was no more in their company of friends..

When you know people are not interested in knowing what you are doing, how you are doing, when they appreciate or depreciate what you do..infact when they stop reacting on any thing it becomes difficult for you to survive. Eventually she lost interest in her work. When her existence was not felt and the presence was not worth and appreciated by a single person in the organisation, she realized its time for her to leave...its time for her to find something new, some where where people respect her and her existence is appreciated. She put her papers. And i was in state of shock. She was someone i thought is gonna be the future manager.

I just had one thought when i got to know this news, that people are strong enough to make you go weak. They can force you to commit suicide, they can take away your identity, your status, your freedom, your life from you. They can make you feel bad about the smallest thing that you ever thought could affected them. Always make your existence felt by people. Or you will not know when you presence is not even felt.

I wish if someone would have told her what people were expecting out of her. What they think should have been changed by her so that she could have come out of that situation. I wish if someone would have just once said ' hey this is what is going wrong. I think you should change this in you and then things will be fine'. But none did that. Because they were only worried about one thing and that is themselves..I feel since we have labour available on cheap rates (especially in India), the HR does not work to hold on the resources and maintain it. Because they know the have thousand of alternatives available to take that place.

P.S: It makes me think, how long am i going to survive.!!!

Alarm CLoCk! Tik tik tik tik.

TeTEteeee TeteeTeeTeee...I think that's how the alarm rang at morning 0715. Heard my mom shouting ' Tukkiii,,,,,,get up dear..or else you will be late for the School. Yeah my school was morning 0745 and the prayer starts exact 0750 hrs..I know i know its a bit late for me to get up but that was the time i do usually get up..get ready in and 20 minutes and rush..School was 5kms away from my home..Me and my brother used to drive like crazy early morning on a scooter. Well people outside India if don't know what scooter is, let me try explaining it to you guys. It is a kind of old vehicle that people used to drive on. It had a very weird shape and look but at that time a little less embarrassing. Everyday prayers, the periods..well yes..when in school we used to call the lectures as periods.. 1st , 2nd and SO on..!! Those days were awesome. I really miss the tuition classes for Mathematics. I was weak on the subject always..I just can't forget the lunch box that my mom used to cook for me and my brother. There was a routine in everything we do. We used to go out in the evening to play some games with the colony people. At 0730 pm sharp my mom used to come out and call me " Tukki......Tukki...come home its time " We used to pray every day with my mom. She always made sure that me and my brother sit with her while she is praying. I was a kid then..and she was a teenager. But i just saw a mom in her..Who loves her kid like anything. She had her life too but she gave more importance to us.

When we entered the high school my brother was preparing for IIT/JEE/AIEE. Well all these are nothing but competitive exams to get admission into the best engineering colleges and Indian institute of technology.Since i am a year younger than him, I was studying for board exam. In India we have tenth and twelfth as board exam. Board exam is nothing but external exam. My parents were really proud that we were studying in CBSE Board which is one of the known university in India until high school. Alarm clock really played an important role in our life. While studying i used to put the alarm for 5 minutes and try writing an answer as fast as i can because i had to finish one answer in those 5 minutes and be ready for the next one. I literally used to solve the mock question paper, sitting in my room, for continuous 0300 hours.. We were always told that its very difficult to complete the whole paper and so we used to practice hard. My brother used to carry big and heavy books for studies..All with options and 1000 odd questions. But i remember very clearly that my mom and dad never forced both of us to do certain thing or study something particular. They always used be awake with us while we were studying. My mom used to come and ask in midnight if i need something. She was on her toes for us.

We never wanted to grow old. Especially me..I always wanted to be that small little kid who can just run to mom or dad when something happens in the life. or when i fight with someone on small thing. I never decided to grow old..but at one point i was excited..to see the world on my own. To have my own identity. To carry my own opinions and not to listen to parents. I wanted to because i saw my friends growing in front of me. I wanted to because i heard my parents saying " you are 18 and still act like a kid. you need to grow up". And so gradually i did.

But i miss those days..i miss my mom's lunch box. GOsh i have tears in my eyes.. I literally miss how my mom used to every morning be at my back to drink a glass of milk or eat the lunch box . How she used to force my to have my dinner on time and sleep on time. How she was behind me alll the time with on thing or the other. She used to move her hand with enough of love..to make me sleep. Once i was sick and i was coughing. I asked my mom " Mom, your sleep won't get disturbed if i cough in middle of the night? Well, her answer was "Nahi Bittu(No baby) and gave a kiss on my cheeks." Believe me i used to hate that kiss of her. But now i miss.

I really miss my childhood. I miss that innocence, i miss that Kiddish behavior, i miss everything. I miss that Alarm clock! And the voice of the alarm clock. Teeteeteeete Teeteeteetee!! I wish i can go back. Also i want to say sorry to my mom and dad for fighting with them on silly things..for not listening to them and at times not talking to them. I am sorry mom. I am sorry baba. But i do remember what you did for me. But i like being a kid in front of you. I like acting immature. I want to be your kid always who is dependent on you .

P.S: I remember when i was a kid i used to be happy at every small thing. Be it a chocolate, ice cream, or something yummy that my dad used to bring while coming from office. I was the most happiest when my mom brought me a Chinese pen. I was the only one in the class to have that. I was so damn happy to play carrom board in the afternoons of summer holidays. I was so mesmerized to play ludo. Those days were InCREdible!! I know i can't go back but i can cherish the moments. Gosh i miss those days!!!!!


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Uneasiness! At times.

Hey Amy, How are you doing? Would you like to come for a dinner we are going Saturday night, and then the Hard rock cafe, little bit dancing, and few bottoms up. Its gonna be fun. Don't say no..pleaseee. ???? hmm. I thought for a while. She asked again..you coming right? ....Listen you guys continue, i said, and added.. I am actually a kind of busy and also need some rest. Well, i think she got to know that i am lying, but what to do. I was feeling a bit low, a bit uneasy. No, no. there was no such reason, its just a natural process i think we all go through some day or the other. So when its a natural i decided to give some time to myself, and that gave rise to this blog post.

Uneasiness! at times. oh ya, i know we all feel like that. When something takes more of our attention than required. When We are stuck in some situation, and the solution seems to be invisible. When we want to achieve the dream, and the way seems to be unreachable. When the boss in on our head to complete something, and we have our own urgent tasks. When vehicle is out of petrol in middle of the road, and the friend does not respond to the call. When there are thousand's of responsibilities, and unable to decide which one should be done first. When it rains heavily and you get no auto or taxi. When there is no batter in your laptop, and power ain't there. or when Internet is not working, and you get out of order. When you have to catch the 04 am flight, or train.  When you see someone with whom you broke off, or meet the new girlfriend of the guy you still love. when you have tears in your eyes, for the silliest fight with mom or dad, or your very best friend.  When fan or ac not working, when you are not able to watch your favorite prime time channel because someones watching news. Something that top on my list is declaring the investments, and filing the tax return. Asking for refund.

gosh, there are numerous things, you can feel uneasy at and for. Then what should be done in such situations.?!?!? What should be done? I am repeating the sentence again to get some solution . hmm. Few things that you can do when you feel a bit uneasy, a bit low is :

# patience. When things go wrong, and not as per your wish, have patience.
# Word carefully : When you are upset, or in anger, it happens that words may sound harsh, and hurt others feelings. It had happened with me numerous times and then i repent later.
# Take a walk, or watch some TV, or listen to some songs.
# Don't think, tooo much. Relax. I wont say do some Yoga and stuff( of course you can if you want), but ask you mind to think less, and heart to beat less.
# Eat something that you love, or if you are diet conscious, have a fruit plate, or Fresh orange juice.
# Do something that you love, say blogging, writing, or reading a book( oh yes, and a suggestion, always have few books in your collection that you can read n number of times, when you are bored, or sad, or upset, or happy, or super happy. )
# Be organized: yes, in whatever you do.
# Have a routine, be it wasting the time, or sleeping late. have a routine.
# Buy some flowers, your favorite one, place it at your desk, and in your room, so when you get up, you see the freshness and feel it whole day.
# Dance!
# Always get dressed the best you can, that actually boost your confidence, and if you are not well dressed, or the clothes are dirty, it spoils your mood, and you feel uneasy.
# Now this one is for girls. Keep your hair healthy, and wash them at regular intervals.
# Don't give excuses, on anything to anyone. Be straight, but careful on words.
# Sleep well.

There are many more things you can do, but few last ones,  that i feel, the most important of all are:

# Be yourself. and learn to say no.
#When you don't feel like going out, don't go.
#When you don't feel like eating something, say you can't.
#When you wan't to spend a day with yourself, that is it.
#Respect yourself.

and the last is:

# Never ever fear of loneliness, or losing someone. Because that is something we all are afraid of.

P.S : I have always felt, life is worth living once for sure. Don't blame, Don't ask, Don't repent. and yes one thing i forgot to say, Eat an apple a day, and the doctor away. I have started doing that this new year. 

STOP! STOP!! Please Stop!

Why do you act like this always? Why do you talk like this ? Why do you behave in this manner when someone says you something ? Why are your reactions so proactive ? Why don't you go out on weekends? Why don't you enjoy ? Why do you keep writing? Why did you acted that way the other day ?  Why do you like this color ? Why don't you try this instead of the one you are presently ? Why can't you come on time?  Why you have to give explanations, always ? Why don't you like Chinese food ? Why don't you drink or smoke? Why do you laugh out loud in public ? Why did you talked to her/him like this ? Why can't you just sit quietly ? Please do not talk when i don't want to . Please Walk straight. Please don' talk like this me. Please Please please do as i say.

There are few creatures on this earth, who are always living with a perception that they are the most complete , most eligible and most correct people on this earth. They think if they are not there on this earth, the earth will be like a desert, quiet and calm. They think they are someone who holds the Guinness book of world record for advising and counselling people. Also they think, that they are the best in everything they do; be it cooking, to mixing and cutting vegetable, or in behaving and impressing people, or in carrying themselves in the crowd.Rest are just someone , who are illiterate, sad, and cry babies. Alright! Can people like this please, i literally mean it, please stop giving their advice's on every single thing we do ? We don't need it. It's actually irritating, and brings our confidence down instead of boosting it high. It really makes us feel 'not so worthy' kind of, that we are surely not. It , it kinds of make us feel, as if we are some dumb assholes who are just on this earth for no other reason than listening to someone else.

If we like listening to some STUPID, stupid songs from some old movie, be it 1950's or the 1800 or be it rock and roll(although i don't think we had some music at that time, but still) if we wanna do that, please let us do that. Why do you have to advice on what songs should we listen to? I don;t think there is any compulsion passed by the government that only number 1, number 2 and number 3 can be listened to or there is? Is there? Under some law and some act ? Huh.

okay, i agree we laugh on every small thing that is, may be, in your perspective, not that funny, but let us laugh . Don't just say ' what is there to laugh ? Of-course we find it funny than you do. Not necessarily we creatures laugh on the same thing, in the same way, at the same time, for the same duration. haha..imagine if we all laugh at same pace, in same style. Won't it be antique ?

Why do i love to click pictures? and why do drink a lot of caffeine? Are you really asking me these kind of questions? Common, that i what i love doing. I am a amateur photographer and i love to capture every moment of my life. Also i am fond of clicking my own pictures. We all have something different, and unique, And caffeine, well i love coffee, and ginger tea is my favorite. I am an artistic person, and i am very close to nature. I love having a cup of tea or coffee accompanying me when i am writing, or thinking something, or in the evening while watching my favorite TV show or a movie ( like the high school musicals or some old legendary ).

And how about my anger, and about my proactive nature, and how about the way i talk, and the way i say that i hate these beggars on the road. Yeah that is my thought, the way i am , the way i behave, my personality traits. I never said anyone, (i think until now) to not to behave in certain way just because i don't like it . I respect for what you are, for how you are. I don't want any one to change for me, Unlike people want me to change for them.

Okay, so you want me to be with you always when you want, or when you are not feeling well, or when you are actually feeling low, and want me to talk to you. And when i cry, or say something, you say i am acting weird and why do i always keep crying ? Did i ever say to you that this is your usual thing and you always keep crying, and that you don't know how to act mature or act in an appropriate way ? Then instead of being with me you are advising me to act mature and saying that i don't know to act per my age. Does age really matters or reduces the pain? If yes, the old people won't need anyone at all, and the Young gen will never be heart broken. Soo please don;t advice. Just be with us if you can.

If i say something, is that it ? Can't that be altered ? Can't that be modified ? It can right.  So if i say lets meet this weekend , or if i say i don;t have time, or if i say i can't see you tonight as promised, you stopped talking to me . And then you say i am changing the plans. Ofcourse things change all of a sudden. You have popping corn always in your life. And you continue your advice saying i should understand the other person's feeling . How about my feelings ? Did i say why can't you understand me.

 Guys, all the above incidences i am sure must have been occurred in your life as well. What i am trying to say is, Advice given is good but overdose of it actually spoils the relationship. It makes the person dead from inside. The person whom you are advising continuously, may eat his confidence, and leave him like a dried leaf.  He may stop thinking, get irritated on small things, and blame god for sending him on this beautiful earth. We all have to understand that every person is different, unique and incredible in its own sense. If you like blue not necessarily the other person would like that. If you love ice cream, the other person my like coffee. If you laugh practically, may be the other person laughs just like that . Please do not try to control somebody's emotions in your hand. Nothing can be a better cage than that .

P.S : I know advice is for free, but please just for the reason don't distribute it. Something for free is not valued until asked for.

Please please stop it. We don't need it actually( The advice).



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T-R-U-S-T - - - - - - -The odd man out!

How strange life is, how strange people are, and how odd man out the word 'Trust' is.

'Trust'! what does it actually means ? Does it mean a person does not hurt you? Does it mean a person does not betray you? Does it mean a person fulfills his promise? Does it mean a person be with you forever and forever? Does it mean a person always be with you in need and deed? Does it mean a person should stick on to the words that he blabbered a days back or years back? Does it mean a person should not break your heart?   Well well well, hold on are these all expectations ? It depends again. We usually try connecting Trust and Expectations and collaborating it. Both means different. Let me clear it out as per my experience and understanding.

Trust is when somebody promised you that he will be with you forever, or will help you in completing some task. That is something the other person promised himself and you did not ask for it. It was his will to do that for you because may be he loves you, or he thinks you are a friend worth it, and he cares for you because he likes you.

Expectation is when you expect something out of others without they promising it to you. When you expect someone to stand by you even they never said that they will , or when you expect that the other person loves you or care for you without that person telling it out to you.

Trust breaks when someone does not do what he has promised to you, and expectations break when someone does not do that he did not promised and your heart expected. What hurts more? Trust or Expectation ? Well i think both. Trust hurts because the other person tried to build that trust in you for him, and when you did trust him, he couldn't stand up-to that. Expectations hurt a little less than trust because at-least it was one sided and at the end it was your fault to expect something out of someone.

At the end the question comes should we never trust someone? Well...there is no answer left for that question. Because trust is something you get to know after betrayal. When someone breaks your trust you actually get to know the real meaning of it. And so we say..experience teach you well.

And believe me you are gonna experience the same thing again and again in life but with a different learning, with a different thought process and with a different result. Also believe me each experience teaches you a new lesson.At times some situation is difficult to control than the other one, but believe me one more time that god had made each one of us soo strong, that surely we can manage ourselves if not others.

P.S : Well something happened that made me to write this post. What is it? I am surely gonna write it the next time. Till then See ya! and Happy blogging to my fellow bloggers!

I have different minds! We all have. The popping Corn!

Sitting on the first bench, in the training, after the heavy lunch, it was getting difficult for me to concentrate on what the presenter was trying to say. And the deserts added on to it. I was feeling drowsy , and sleepy. Eyes were closing down without my knowledge, they were saying me please get home soon. I need to sleep. I was trying opening them. Looking at the floor for a second to give some relaxation to my eyes. I felt as if i have been tortured to keep my eyes open for an unending time. Heard the sentence ' partnerships, limited liabilities, general partners and joint ventures’. Both my hands gave support to my face, yeah I needed that support and looked at the instructor, my eyes rolled on to him, he was moving all over the room trying to make us understand the flow through concepts. He was from United States, Michigan. His name was Patrick Fitzgerald. We call him Pat. He had two kids, oh sorry three. He bought few candies for us from the states and we were waiting for them to open post lunch. When we entered the class post lunch, all the three packets were emptied and he was really, i mean 'Really' disappointed to see such act done by a professional employee in such an organization. I felt bad as i could not collect even one. But this act just made me think, why do people break the trust and act indecent in such great atmosphere?!?!? We tried to put our eyes on few of the people who were already there in the room before us. But none of them accepted that they are the culprit, of course they won't. A person if steals something, never accepts that he did that. Alright forget about that.

So...while in the training, my mind was getting distracted and it was going all ways thinking few things. Like a rainbow it was changing colors. How at one point of time i was thinking about the apartment that i have to look for in the evening, how the broker was calling me and i was trying to cut the call, how i was thinking about the past; the present, the future, looking at the slides going on, the blue and green color of the boxes. Oh Gosh, we have different minds.

Different minds, different people, at the same time. We all think approximately 10 things at the same time, in fact more than that. We try to concentrate on one single thing, focus our mind, but still, our mind works in different ways. Your one part, say. Concentrate! The other one says ' Break' the third part says ' I am hungry, feed me something’. 'Oh i am sleepy' the fourth part says. Next say, 'oh when am i gonna fall in love', the next thinks..'Oh i didn't talk to my friend who called me yesterday'. And then we are thinking ' hmm. my friends marriage.. How am i gonna go? I have lots of work'. Thinking how to say that i won't be able to come. oh Wow, I am gonna get the appraisal this year. How much will be my hike. And then the guy who is behind you (or a girl who is behind you if you are a guy, or if you have some other preferences, i don't mind that too). And then it says ' my gosh, what are they trying to teach us? We already know this'. I went back to the bad times i have gone through, and then the very moment i also thanked god for taking me out of those times. My mind at the same time was listening to what Pat was saying and i was answering to make him sure that 'oh yeah, don't worry, we are listening' although we were not. So ultimately what i wanna say is even though we think that we are focused on a work, or our mind is at one place, its never like this. We are always diverted with different thoughts at the same time.

Since we are human, our mind tends to work in a different way and in different directions at the same time. And when we think too much, our mind needs rest. Infact more rest than expected. When we say we are matured, that means we have control over our senses. Our mind is built enough to handle ten different thoughts at a time. That is one of the reasons i love being grown up and matured because then i can act..

Concentrating on the class again, i looked on to the PPT that was going on. I realized i was not at all in there the room, for an hour or so. I was in my world of thoughts.

I looked at the clock, it was still 03 45 in the heavy afternoon. The class was quiet, people were in their own world of thoughts, and were successful in giving the look to the instructor Pat that 'hey, oh ya we are listening. Moving their heads up and then down gradually on everything he said, as a sign of focusing and making him feel welcome'. I got myself back to the class, and Pat concluded the topic Partnerships.  And added 'Alright so we have a fifteen minutes break' . And we all were awake suddenly. I felt as if somebody just said a dialogue ' Go, go free yourself. Go, live again, Go get some life dude'. Well what he actually said was, go stretch yourself , have some air and come back quickly. With the thought in my mind of coming back, we went out of the training room. I realized it then, that today was my first day of training; i have 4 more days to go. So, i have four more days to think about myself. Think about all what i could not do  when i was busy working. As one of my friend said, while having lunch provided by the company as a complimentary for the trainees, that 'This is the time, to heal you'. Well, thats what i am gonna do.

Happy blogging till then!

P.S.: Pat did bought the candies again the very next day of our training, and distributed to all of us. I really felt bad for what happened in the class (Stealing of candies) uf..Kidding me. BTW I ate Mars and the Hershey’s :)


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