Isin't it weird!!

These days i guess is a big problem with me.Now you will say its nothing new,but jokes apart..I start judging people from the day i meet them and will keep judging until they leave and go!!I just wont trust them.I just don't have anything to talk to people.I just don't feel like i am capable of doing what others are doing.I just don't have anything new left in my life.I just don't want to enter any new relationship because of what i suffered in the prior one.I feel like staying alone-with me,myself and no one around.I always feel like listening to traumatic songs that of course makes me feel more traumatic.ha!.

And then you know what? at times i decide that okay ! now it more than enough.Enough is Enough..ehhhh Now its time to get out if this breakdown that has been a curse for me.Its time to get out of the hell where i stay. Its time to tell it to him that you F***** just get out of my life..now and for forever.And yes please Do not show me your face again.I hate seeing you. I hate myself when i hear about you.I want to tell him that you are no more alive in my life.That you are just no more ! like i say "I have burnt myself to burn you. and that ash is no more in my life".I wanna say it to him that everything is done between you and me.

I want to!!I want to!! I want to!!!! But as soon as i get up, i will just sit on my side of the bed and will think over it again and again and again and agai...ag..and a....huh!!!! And i will be like okay let me just wait for him the last chance..i realize that omg what was i going to do. i love him. and i DO..how can i leave him.How does it even matters whether he is with me or not.How does it even matters whether he still does or not? how does it matters whether he treats me like a shit. i know i am not, i know i did not do anything wrong. I am true to my feelings. i did not lie like he did to me.. know a bit weird but what to do, as i said life is about experiencing and that i what i feel had made me like this.

Its not only me to experience this, but many other in this world who are going through the same situation.At times it feels as if what can be done..huh!!! i mean what exactly can be done so that when we get the other morning we can be the way we were before when we met someone special who ruined are thinking power!!!!

But what keeps me going is my experience.I experienced and i am sure also you must have that:

- we remember someone with whom we met 10 years ago or may be 15 years. That person may be in your school or college or somewhere in your coaching classes.But ain't it weird that we don't remember someone with whom we were in love a few days or months or an year back?

-We remember someone who ditched someone you know or may be someone with whom you were closed with. But ain't it weird that we don't remember someone whom we ditched?

-We remember someone whom we helped in their tough times, whom we cared for when they were sick and couldn't walk. But ain't it weird that we don't remember someone who cared for us when we were going through tough times in like, when we were suffering from people's word?

-We go to a person who hurt us again and again, who disrespect us, who let you down whenever you ask them something. But we don't bother about them whom we hurt, disrespect and made them feel miserable about their life and relationship.

The above mentioned are just few situations were we and the other do wrong.what i wan't to convey here is what you do with others will come back to you. As the song says : "ITS ALL COMING BACK TO ME BACK". If you are going through the same thing just don't worry, do not panic and start crying for what has happened to you., Be strong, give some time to yourself, and Do Not Go Back to someone again who hurt you!!! Forgive them but do not forget them.

what is more important in life is to trust yourself, Believe in yourself, and you will be out of what you are going through. I know not at all easy to come out of the break down but we can accept it. we can accept that the person is not gonna come back. we can accept that the person even if comes back will repeat the same thing again. will hurt you again. will torture you and make you feel more miserable.

so whats the point in dragging such relation where the other don't respect you. the other don't feel through what you are going through.

The only thing that can be done is realizing what he has done to you.And deciding on it that you will never ever look at him, that you will never ever talk to him even if he does.accepting that this what life is.

accepting that there are other things to focus on. your career, your family, the things that you wanted to do but couldn't because of going through that trauma.

That doesn't mean to be alone. Remember " Being independent does not mean not to need any one " Talk to people , allow them in your life . make them a part of your life.The more you will allow people, the more happier you will be.The more self worth you will develop.

Rest all leave it on time. Time is the strongest asset that will evade your feelings and will bring back to what you were and not what you are.